


Where to Find Me

by DonTheRock



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Chocolate Chocolate Chip Muffin, Coming Out, Disney Channel, Fluff, Gay, Kippen Cousins, Kippen Siblings, Kippen Twins, LGBTQ Character, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Not-So-Scary-Basketball-Guy, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Underdog, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 11:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18314486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DonTheRock/pseuds/DonTheRock
Summary: "All I've done is push you away. You'd have to be pretty amazing to like me after that.""So you think I'm amazing?"Cyrus and TJ have been really good friends for a while, but now those feelings are starting to grow. When Andi invites the group to her great Aunt's lodge for the long weekend, they realize that they might mean more to each other than just friends, but with both boys being too scared to share their feelings, will they ever open up about what they want?





	1. Chapter 1

**Cyrus' POV**

 

"Didn't Andi say she was coming?" I ask, checking my wristwatch. 

Buffy pops in another baby tater before answering. "She's probably just running late." 

The Spoon is buzzing with energy today, as it usually is on Fridays. The hum of voices fills the air, but Buffy doesn't seem to care about the several other conversations happening around us in other groups. I'm catching snippets of all of them, though never enough to understand what anyone is talking about. 

"Jonah," Buffy says, pausing her snacking, "didn't you ask for another milkshake?"

"Yeah, but it's fine." He waves his hand to dismiss it, a calm smile on his face as always.

"But you wanted one, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but It's okay. She's obviously busy."

He gestures to Amber who's scurrying between tables, passing out dishes and picking up trays right and left. 

"I don't want to cause anymore trouble than she already has," he insists. 

"Are they usually this short-staffed?" I wonder. 

Buffy shrugs, and eats another baby tater. 

Suddenly, the door chimes open, and I turn to see Andi rushing in, and sliding into the booth next to me. 

"Sorry, guys. My mom wanted my help picking a colour for Cloud 10. She's tired of the white—thinks it needs more colour to liven it up."

"That's okay," I respond.

"So about the long weekend," Buffy starts, "I know I said we could have the movie marathon at my place, but my mom is redoing the flooring in our living room, so we won't really be able to be in there while it's happening."

"What?" I say, disappointed.

"So I was hoping maybe Bex would let us have it at your place?" she suggests to Andi.

Andi frowns. "About that, I was meaning to tell you guys, but I actually won't be able to do the marathon anymore."

"What? Why?" Jonah asks.

"It turns out Bowie has an Aunt, who has a lodge on a lake, who invited us to stay there over the long weekend."

"Oh," Buffy responds. "Well, that'll be fun. Take lots of pictures, okay?"

"I'm sorry, guys," Andi continues. "I obviously wanted to spend four days watching the best Disney Channel original movies with you all, but I also want to meet my Aunt. And Bowie really wants me to come, and Bex—"

"It's fine, Andi," Buffy cuts her off. "You have to spend time with your family."

"I just feel bad. We've been planning this for weeks."

Suddenly, I hear a beep from my phone. I pull it out to see a text from my mom, telling me to come home for dinner.

"What is it?" Jonah asks.

I shake my head. "I've got to go home, but I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Andi slides out of the booth to let me out, and the group waves to me as I exit the diner. Outside is chilly, and I immediately wish I had brought a coat. Instead I'm left in a T-shirt in the cold wind, with a long walk separating me and the warmth of my house. I start walking, my pace quickly, eagerly wanting to get out of the cold. 

After crossing a couple intersections, I pass by a familiar place on my way and peek in through the glass to see if TJ is working today. All I see are kids spinning and running around a boy I don't recognize. I feel disappointed. I kind of wanted to see him, although I don't really know why. I just saw him at school, and I don't have anything new to tell him. But still.

I step over to continue my walk, but stop when I hear someone shout my name. I turn around to see TJ jogging over to me from down the sidewalk, holding a paper bag in one hand.

"Hey, Cyrus!"

"TJ! Where did you come from?"

He slows to a halt in front of me. "I finished work early and went over to the Spoon to see if I could catch you there, but Buffy said you already left."

_How did I pass by him without noticing?_

"I stopped to get muffins on the way." He unrolls the top of the bag and pulls out a muffin.

"Chocolate chocolate chip," I say, smiling as I take the muffin he holds out. 

"I know you," he says, grinning. "And guess what else they had."

"What?"

He shows me the other muffin with blue spots covering it. 

"Blueberry macadamia." He looks at me with a face of victory.

"I can't believe they actually make that!" 

"Oh, they don't, but I put in a special request."

I laugh at that. "The people at the bakery must like you."

"Who couldn't?" he says jokingly.

"Good point," I reply. "Where are you headed?"

"You see, I was planning to see you to ask if you wanted to come with me to this thing tonight."

"Oh, a thing?"

"Yeah. My mom is in charge of this community movie night thing in the park. She wanted me to help make popcorn and set up and stuff."

"What movie?"

"Moana." He notices my expression and agrees with a nod. "I know, I don't really want to see it again. I've already heard all of the songs about twenty thousand times from the kids at the gym. But I figured it'd be better having a friend there with me."

"You want me to help out?" Something about that makes my stomach flutter—the thought of being with TJ together at a movie, without the rest of my friends there, even though we won't really be watching the movie, but I think that makes it better. 

He nods. "If you want. It'd be great to have someone to talk to while I'm making popcorn."

"I'd love to," I reply. 

"Awesome! Meet me there at 7:00 to help set up." 

He gives me a smile before spinning around to go in the opposite direction from me. I watch him as he walks away, my eyes flickering between him and the muffin in my hands. As I bite into the baked good, I notice him glance back at me and give me a smile, and I pause in the middle of taking a bite to wave. Then he turns back around and i carry on with my snacking as I continue my walk home.


	2. Chapter 2

**TJ's POV**

 

"Can I get butter on it?" a kid with a fluffy ponytail in a bow asks, holding up the bag of popcorn I just filled for her. 

"It has fake butter on it," I say.

"I want real butter," she whines.

"Well, we don't have real butter."

She pouts and stomps away, and I roll my eyes. It's fifteen past 7:00 and Cyrus hasn't shown up, so I'm stuck filling bags of popcorn alone and dealing with self-centred kids who all want more than they have. They parents don't help, either. They couldn't care less about the miserable boy getting their food, or tell their kids to shut up when they start singing the stupid songs from the movie. It hasn't even started yet, but I'm already sick of it. 

I just wish Cyrus were here. I'm starting to feel a little embarrassed for even inviting him in the first place. Why would I ever think that someone as great as him would want to hang out with someone like me? I guess there's a reason why Reed and Lester don't talk to me anymore. Maybe Cyrus got sick of me, too. 

I fill another bag with a scoop of popcorn from the machine and shove it into the hand of the next person in line, not bothering to look at them before turning back around.

"You know, your customer service could use some improvement," a familiar voice says. 

I whip around to see Cyrus holding the popcorn I just gave out.

"Underdog, you came!"

"I am so sorry I'm late," he apologizes. "My step-dad said he wanted to drive me, but then my mom wanted to do yoga, and—"

"It's okay, Underdog. Just"—I motion for him to come around the table—"get over her and help me out."

Cyrus smiles and walks around. He sits the popcorn on the table and looks up at me. 

"What do I do?" he asks. 

"I'll scoop the bags. You give them to the people," I direct.

I turn to fill another bag, then reach to pass it to him. When he takes it, I feel our fingers touch, and it makes my stomach leap. He doesn't seem to be phased by it the way I am, though, because he just smiles at me and pulls the bag away to give out. I take a breath before continuing to fill bags and pass them to Cyrus, each time trying to touch hands again. I know I have a problem. This has never happened to me before—feeling this way. But being around Cyrus just makes me feel lighter, happier. He makes the constant wails of Moana songs in the background more bearable. 

Once the crowd has been helped, we are able to relax, and I go up to lean against the table, using my arms to prop me up. 

"That was . . . busy," he says.

"Sorry," I say. "You probably regret coming here."

"No, no," he quickly responds. "I'm glad you invited me."

"You like working to serve a bunch of screaming kids?" 

He shrugs. "With you, yeah."

That makes me melt, and I feel my arms go numb, so I have to lift them off the table to keep from giving out. 

Then I notice him rubbing his arms. He's in a T-shirt without a coat, and has goosebumps sprinkled over his skin.

"You cold?" I ask. 

He waves it off with his hand. "I'm fine. I guess I was just in a rush to leave and forgot my jacket."

"Take mine," I say automatically.

I tug my out blue jacket off and hold it out. _Please take it,_  I think. 

He smiles at me and takes my offer, sliding his bare arms into the sleeves of my coat. 

"Thanks," he says. "So your mom plans movie nights for the community?"

"Yeah, she's real into volunteering. She's been asking to help with my basketball team since I first joined, but I won't let her. Who wants their mom hanging around their friends all the time?"

Cyrus laughs. "My mom doesn't do that. She just asks me personal questions to try and uncover what I'm hiding in my unconscious."

"Unconscious?"

"She believes in a lot of Freud's theories. Not the weird stuff, though."

"What kind of weird stuff?"

"Well, he believed that when kids are young they are in love with the parent of the opposite gender and hate the one of the same gender."

"That's pretty weird," I agree, kind of wishing I didn't ask. 

There's a silence between us, leaving space for the first song of the movie to ring out.

"I'm sorry," Cyrus says, "I made you uncomfortable."

"No, it's okay," I say. "Other than psychological theories, what else do you know?"

"I know how to count to ten in French," he says in a chipper voice. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept . . . uh."

"Huit, neuf, dix," I finish.

He looks at me in surprise.

"My parents are from Quebec. I can speak French fluently."

"Really? I can hardly speak English fluently," he says, which makes me chuckle. 

He laughs with me, and I feel his arm touch mine, which causes my breath to catch in my chest.  _He moved closer._

"You know," he says, "when you first said there was a movie night, I was picturing a one of those silent movies in black and white, with a man in a top hat and a woman stuck on train tracks."

I grin. "Yeah, not quite. This isn't a whole lot better, though. I voted for the Terminator."

"Never seen it," Cyrus says.

"You should watch it."

"That's probably not a good idea. I was hiding under a blanket while watching The Nightmare Before Christmas with Andi and Buffy."

I laugh. "What kinds of movies do you like?"

"Documentaries, mostly."

"I've never seen a documentary before, other than the ones they show us at school."

"Well, there's this one about alligators, which is basically like Terminator, but with alligators."

The statement makes me grin. "Well, you'll have to show it to me sometime." I freeze up, realizing that I basically just invited myself over to his house.

"Well, I can't usually have people over, because my parents don't like having guests over when they're busy with patients," he explains, "but I could come to your house."

I feel my heart start again, this time beating faster than usual. "That works for me. How about tomorrow?"

He nods. "I'll be there."

We continue to talk throughout the movie, being shushed every once in a while by nearby parents, although I don't know why; their kids are making more of a racket than us. At the end of the film, Cyrus helps me clean up. We pick up loose garbage left behind by the viewers who have all left now, and pack away the supplies at the popcorn table. We finish throwing away the last of the garbage, and he starts to take off my coat that he's been wearing this whole time. 

"Keep it," I say. "You can give it back tomorrow."

"Won't you be cold?"

I am cold, a little. But I'd rather be cold myself than think about him freezing as he walks home. Besides, I have an alternative motive; the longer he wears it, the more it will smell like him when I get it back. 

"Thanks," he says, smiling. "Uh, see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah," I say, "see you."

He waits for a second before turning away. I wish I had done something in that second, something more than what I did do, which was stare at his deep brown eyes. Why am I so awkward? I'm supposed to be cool, but for some reason I can't do that when I'm around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaah! I kind of love this, and I hope you love this, too.


	3. Chapter 3

**Cyrus' POV**

 

I enter the Spoon and see Andi and Buffy sitting in a booth, waiting for me.

"Hey," Buffy says as I sit down across from her and Andi. "New jacket?" she asks.

I realize I'm wearing TJ's jacket. I didn't notice which coat I put on when I left the house.

"Uh, yeah," I say, dismissing the question. "What are you guys talking about?" I ask.

"I have good news," Andi announces. "Bowie said I could bring some friends to the lodge with us."

"That's great!" I say. "Who all is coming?"

"Buffy, Jonah, you—"

"Awfully presumptuous of you to think I haven't made plans."

"You have plans?"

"No, I'm kidding. Of course I'm coming!"

Andi smiles. "And  . . . Amber."

"You invited Amber?" Buffy chimes in. 

"We were hanging out and she asked what I was doing over the long weekend. And besides, she's actually fun to be around."

"Right," Buffy says. "Well, she's not horrible, I'll give you that."

"I call that I win," I say. 

"Anyway," she goes on, "since we're not having our movie marathon over the break, do you guys want to come over tonight to have a mini marathon?"

"Yeah, definitely," Andi replies. 

"Great! Cyrus?"

"Of course," I say, then correct myself. "Wait, I can't. I'm hanging out with someone else."

"What?" Buffy responds. "With who?"

I hesitate. Buffy's not exactly the biggest fan of TJ, so I don't know how she'll react. 

"TJ," I finally answer. 

"Oh. What are you guys doing?"

"He invited me to his house to watch a movie."

"So you're skipping our movie night for one with TJ."

"You're not mad, are you?"

"No," she says. "It's just unexpected. Tell TJ not to show you any scary movies," she teases.

"Haha. We're actually watching a documentary."

"Really?" She looks surprised. "He must really like you."

I smile at that. For some reason it makes me feel warm, and suddenly I'm worried that my face could be red. Thankfully, Buffy and Andi get distracted by a text Andi recieves from Jonah.

"Jonah's almost here," she reads out. "He wants us to order a strawberry milkshake for him."

She stops the next server who passes by and does just that.

____________________________

**TJ's POV**

 

As soon as the doorbell rings, I jump up from the couch to get to the door.  _Wait, should I wait a second before answering? I don't want him to think I was waiting by the door for him to show up. Although that is what I did . . ._

"Hey!" I say after opening the door. 

"Hey," Cyrus responds. "Can I come in?"

"Right, yeah, of course."

I step aside so he can enter. He immediately looks around at my house. It's pretty dull. The walls are beige, and the furniture is all brown. 

"The TV is downstairs," I say. "Do you want popcorn?"

"Sure."

He follows me into the kitchen, where I open the cabinet and pull out a bag of microwavable popcorn. 

"Oh, here's your jacket," he says, starting to take off the coat I lent to him yesterday.

"Thanks," I say, taking it when he gives it to me, my heart sinking a little. I drape the coat over one of the chairs at the kitchen table. 

I put the popcorn in the microwave and wait for it to beep as he looks around. Is eyes scan over the floral wallpaper of this room, over to the collection of decorative dishes on display, and lastly to the dangling crystal chandelier.

"It's like two different people live in the kitchen versus the living room," he says. 

"My mom decorated the kitchen," I explain. "My dad did the living room. The whole house is divided between the two. Do you want something to drink?"

"What do you have?"

"Coke, root beer, ginger ale, and water."

"You have Coke?"

"Are you a Pepsi guy?"

"No, I don't care, but Buffy feels very strongly about Pepsi."

I laugh. "Well, it's a good thing she's not here."

He smiles and takes the can I pass to him from out of the fridge. The microwave beeps and I pull out a bowl to pour the popcorn into. I lead Cyrus down the stairs, into the basement. The walls down here are red, and the furniture is mostly black and white.

"Who did this room?" he asks.

I sit the bowl on the table in front of the couch. "Me. And my sister, but she's six, so I picked out most of it."

"That explains the Polly Pockets," he says, pointing at the shelves of toys on the far wall. He walks over to sit down on the couch, stopping when he notices my math books spread out on the table. "Were you working on this?"

I immediately go to clean it up, not wanting him to see my work. I don't know whether I even got the answers right. 

He puts his hand on mine to stop me as I reach to close the book, and my heart nearly breaks out of my ribcage when we come in contact.  _What's happening to me? I don't like him, right? I can't like him. He's straight, I know it. He dated Iris. I can't feel this way, not for him._

"How's tutoring going?" he asks.

"Pretty good," I answer. "i'm getting better."

"You got the first two right," he says cheerfully, "but not the third."

"Yeah, I'm working on it," I say.

"I could help you?" he offers.

How can I say no? "Okay."

I sit down on the couch next to him, and he scoots closer to me so that our knees are touching.  _He moved closer, not me. I think. But why?_

He pick up the pencil on the table and gives it to me. 

"Remember the Pythagorean theorem?"

"A squared plus B squared equals C squared."

"Right, so you have to square these numbers before adding them," he explains, pointing to a trigonometry question.

I plug the numbers into the calculator next to my books and write the new answer down.

"Is that right?" I ask.

"Exactly."

His smile makes me smile, and I keep smiling the whole time as he helps me through the rest of the questions. Some of them I still don't get, but i pretend I do, because he just looks so happy when I get it right. Once we finish the last of the problems, I shove the books to the other end of the table and pull the popcorn bowl over. 

"So what movie were you thinking about?" I ask. "Terminator with alligators?"

He grins. "Well, I may have exaggerated it a bit, but it's still really good."

He takes the remote and opens up Netflix. After picking the show, he sets the remote back down and leans back on the couch. 

"Popcorn?" I ask, holding the bowl out for him.

He smiles and takes a few pieces. The documentary starts out by talking about the daily activity of the alligator. I'm not particularly into it, but Cyrus is captivated, and seeing his face light up makes me smile. At some point in the film, I swear he moved closer, because now his shoulder is against mine, and I'm scared of moving and making him notice how close we are. 

"This is a good part," he says, leaning closer to me. 

I take the opportunity to do one of those extremely cliche but surprisingly successful arm stretches to sit my arm on the top of the couch behind him. I want to put my arm around him, but every time I think about it, I remind myself that he's just my friend, and friends don't do that kind of stuff. 

_____________________________

I don't know when we fell asleep, but I woke up on the couch, with Cyrus lying against me, my arm around him. The documentary is over, and now it's just quiet. I know I should move my arm, but I've never had the boy this close to me before, and I don't want him to move. 

"Cyrus," I whisper, but he's fast asleep.

I examine him, the way his eyes flutter a little, the mole on his cheek.  _God, I like this boy. I really do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know we haven't even gotten that far into it, but it's getting there, I promise. I just really want to make sure I build it up enough. Thank you so much for reading this far!


	4. Chapter 4

**Cyrus' POV**

 

I wake up with TJ's arm around me, lying with my head on his chest. As soon as I realized that, I dart upright.

"Sorry for using you as a pillow," I say, thanking the dim lighting in this room for hopefully disguising the fact that my face is turning red. 

"It's okay," he says, smiling. 

"Did you see the ending?" I ask.

"Nah, I fell asleep not long after you did."

"Oh, well what happened was—"

"Don't tell me. Save the ending for next time."

"Next time?"

"Yeah, how about next weekend?"

I light up, only to sink down immediately after. "I can't. I'm going to Andi's dad's aunt's lodge."

"That's a mouthful," he jokes. "That's okay. Another time."

"Yeah." I wish it didn't have to be another time. I really want to see him again. I like being near him. 

____________________________________

The next morning, I wake up with a text on my phone. As soon as I see who it's from, my heart spirals in my chest.  _He texted me in the morning? He's never done that before._

 **TJ:**  Morning, Underdog. How'd you sleep?

To be honest, I didn't get that much sleep. It took my hours to get my mind to settle down. All I could think about was how TJ had his arm around me, and the way he smelled and how his green eyes sparkled even in the dim light of lamps.  _I wish I hadn't given him back his jacket. Maybe I could've kept it for just a little bit longer._

 **Cyrus:**  Good. How about you?

 **TJ:**  Couldn't fall asleep for most of the night, but I did eventually. 

 **Cyrus:**  Why couldn't you fall asleep?

 **TJ:**  Just thinking about things, I guess.

Was he thinking about what I was thinking about? No, he couldn't. There's no way he would think about me like that. 

 **TJ:**  What are you doing today?

 **Cyrus:**  I'm meeting Andi, Buffy and Jonah later at The Spoon. Wanna join?

 **TJ:**  I'll be there. 

I smile at that, and sit the phone down on my bedside table. 

_______________________________________

 

"Why do you keep checking the door?" Andi asks me. 

The door chimes again, and I spin around in my chair to see who it is. Every time it's not TJ, my heart sinks a little. 

"TJ said he'd come," I say. 

"Maybe he just got busy," Buffy suggests. 

I shake my head. "He would've texted me."

The door chimes again, and I look to see another face I don't recognize. 

"Dude, you're gonna hurt your neck if you keep turning around," Jonah says teasingly. "I'll tell you when he shows up."

"How was the movie night at his house?" Buffy asks. 

"Oh, good," I reply. I'm not sure whether or not I want to tell her much more than that. I kind of want to tell her about how I lay on his chest and his arm was around me and I had butterflies and . . . No, there's no point. It didn't mean anything, anyway. it's not like he could like me. He's so clearly straight. Besides, I don't like him that way. Right?

"That's it?" she pushes. "Was it at least worth missing our Disney movie mini marathon?"

 _Without a doubt._  "Well, I'm sure the marathon would've been great, too, but I had fun."

I hear the door chime again, but make a purposeful effort to keep from spinning around.

"TJ's here," Jonah mentions. 

"What?" I turn to see him.

"Hey!" TJ says. He gives my hand a slap and fist bump before sitting down in the empty chair beside me. "What's up?"

"Nothing yet," Buffy says. "Cyrus has been to distracted by the door opening and closing to take part in a conversation."

"She's kidding," I say quickly. 

TJ chuckles, dismissing the awkward topic. "How's the team doing, Buffy?"

"Better. Not pro athletes, but better."

Then Amber swings by the table, saying, "Hi, guys!"

"Hi, Amber!" Andi says in response. 

"TJ, I didn't know you were all friends."

"Wait," Andi cuts in, "how do you know him?"

TJ answers, "she's my cousin."

"Oh," Andi reacts. "I can see that. I mean, you look similar, but not similar enough to be siblings."

Amber smiles as she asks, "What can I get you?"

"I'll take my usual," TJ said.

"Chocolate milkshake, cheeseburger and baby taters. Got it."

"I'll just get baby taters," Buffy says.

"Same," Andi says. 

Jonah and I got burgers as well, trusting that Andi and Buffy would share their baby taters. 

___________________________________

The lunchroom is filled with the voices of Jefferson kids. After getting my meal, I go over to join Andi and Buffy at the table. 

"What are you guys talking about?" I ask.

"Andi saw Jonah with a girl today," Buffy explains. 

"Aren't you two broken up?" I ask. 

"Yes, we are," Andi responds, "which is why I don't care."

"Okay, then," Buffy says, "so I'm thinking of trying out for the badminton—"

"Why wouldn't he tell me about her?" Andi interrupts, clearly in her own world. "We're friends. Does he not want me to meet her?"

"Why don't you ask him?" I suggest. 

"He's sitting with his other friends. I can't just walk up and ask him."

I glance over at where Jonah is innocently chatting with some other kids, the signature Jonah smile on his face. 

"Then relax," Buffy says. "It's probably nothing."

"He's allowed to like other girls," Andi says. "We're not together anymore."

"Right, so don't worry about it," Buffy encourages. 

Then I see TJ walking up to the table. 

"Hey, TJ!" I say, my voice cracking a little, which causes Buffy to chuckle. 

"Hey, Cyrus. Mind if I join you?"

I shake my head. "Go ahead."

"So, Cyrus, I've got a basketball game after school today," he says. "Can I count on you being there?"

"Of course." I smile at him, and he matches my stare. Our eyes stay locked for a moment until Buffy gasps. 

"Oh, no," she says.

Her milk carton tipped over and spilled across the table. She immediately stands up.

"I'm gonna go get napkins," she says. "Cyrus, will you help me?"

"Yeah, sure," I reply, getting up to join her.

We go over to the counter where the napkin dispenser sits. Right as I start pulling out a bunch of them, she speaks.

"Hey, you know how you told me about your crush on Jonah?" she says.

"Yeah." I pause, wondering where this is going.

"And I was nothing but supportive."

"Yeah."

"Do you like TJ?"

The question catches me off guard, though I guess I should've expected it with the build-up and all. 

"Um . . ." I don't know what to say. I haven't thought about it. He does make my heart beat faster and give me butterflies and I really like being around him. But this is nothing like how Jonah made me feel. It's more. I think I do like him. 

"It's okay if you do," she says. 

"Buffy, he's straight. What does it matter?"

"Jonah was straight," she reminds me. "You told me about him. Besides, you don't know for sure that TJ doesn't like guys. Has he ever mentioned having a girlfriend before?"

No. I guess he hasn't. "Buffy, I don't want to be hurt if he doesn't like me back."

"So you do like him?"

"I did not say that."

"But you didn't deny it."

I'm silent, not sure what to say. I do like him, I admit it. I like him way more than I ever liked Jonah, but that only means he could crush me way more than Jonah did. I can't let myself like him. I can't throw my heart into a hole like that, not knowing whether or not he'll be there to catch it. 

I ignore her statement and turn to go back to the table to clean up the spill. I place the napkins on the liquid, and they quickly soak through. Buffy helps, cleaning up the rest of the mess, and going throw out the dripping paper. When she comes back, she gives me a fresh napkin to wipe my sticky hands. 

"So TJ," Buffy starts, "what are you doing over the weekend?"

He shrugs. "Nothing, really. Just chilling, I guess."

"That's cool. We're going to Andi's dad's Aunt's lodge."

"Cyrus mentioned that. Sounds like fun," he says, not sounding incredibly confident in that statement. 

"Hey, why don't you come?" Buffy says, and I immediately shoot her a glare, but on the inside I'm kind of happy that she asked that. She notices my look but ignores it. "It'd be awesome if you'd come."

"Well, it's Andi's choice."

"Oh, Andi's cool with it. Right, Andi?"

She nudges Andi's arm, who responds, "Yeah?"

She had been staring at Jonah, not paying attention to the conversation. 

Buffy restates her idea. "TJ should come to the lodge with us."

"Uh, sure," she responds, still not fully focused on us. 

"See, she's cool with it," Buffy insists. 

I look to TJ, awaiting his response. I know I probably should want him to say no, so that I can spend the weekend trying to get him out of my head, but I can't deny that I would love to be with him for three days—be next to him, not needing to text, because I'll be able to see him at any moment.

"If she's okay with it, then I'm there." he looks at me, smiling. I really hope he can't see how hard I'm blushing right now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! I hope you like it so far!


	5. Chapter 5

**TJ's POV**

 

The game didn't go well. We lost, but thankfully I had Cyrus smiling at me from the bleachers the whole time. After getting changed out of my uniform, I found Cyrus waiting for me, still sitting in the same spot on the bleachers where he was for the whole game. 

"You played awesome!" He cheers. 

"We lost," I remind him.

"Yeah, well, I don't know how the points work, so to me you did great."

I laugh and put my arm around his shoulder to squeeze him into a quick side hug. "Thanks, Cy."

"Anytime."

"Hey, If you're not busy, any chance you want to come over and finish watching the rest of that documentary?"

"You actually liked it that much?" he says, surprised.

 _No, not really, but I like you._  "Yeah! You were right, it is like Terminator with alligators. Action-packed and suspenseful." I figured I should stop there before he asks me to explain further and I don't have an answer. To be honest, for most of the movie, I was more focused on him than on the television. 

"I'll have to text my mom to ask, but I'm sure I can come over," he says. 

"Sounds good."

__________________________________

"Have you ever been to a lodge before?" Cyrus asks me as I sit down on the couch. 

"Well, a lodge is basically like camping for people who don't actually want to camp, so no. I like being outside with nature. What about you?"

"Never been to a lodge. Been camping before with my family, but I've not exactly a spokesperson for Bass Pro Shops."

I let out a chuckle. "Don't like the outdoors?"

"No, I love outdoors, especially when I'm watching it from the safety and comfort of my own house through a TV screen."

I grin and pass him the remote. 

"I think I fell asleep around here," Cyrus says, stopping my fast-forwarding of the show. It stops at a scene with two alligators crawling alongside two smaller ones. "Yup, this is it."

We both stare at the television while picking at the bowl of popcorn that I made for us. Every time he reacts to the show, my eyes flicker to him, but I don't keep them there for too long, afraid he'll notice and think into it. Then, when our hands touch in the popcorn bowl, I take a risk.

"You're hands are cold," I say, taking his hand in mine. 

"Well, I was outside without gloves on," he says. 

I wait for him to pull his hand away, but he doesn't. He keeps it in mine, even though his attention averts back to the TV. Then I try something else, something I'll have a harder time playing off if it goes wrong, but for some reason my  _screw it_  side has surfaced and all I want is to be as close to this boy as possible. I wrap my fingers between his, intertwining our hands. He doesn't resist. I look at him, trying to see what he's thinking through his face, but he's still staring at the television. I turn my neck back to look at the show and as I do, I feel his head fall onto my shoulder. _What is happening right now?_

Neither of us say anything for the rest of the movie. Maybe he is just as confused as I was. My head is trying to piece this puzzle of emotions together the entire time, so I barely have enough mental space to remember to breathe. Every time I let air into my chest, my heart beats five extra times, as though this is some kind of competition of who can make TJ more nervous. I'm slightly worried that Cyrus can hear my pounding heart with his head on my shoulder. 

At the end of the movie, we both stay like that for a moment before he lets go of my hands, saying, "I should go. My mom said I need to be home for dinner."

"Yeah, of course."

I get up with him and walked him up the stairs and to the door. I open the door for him and he steps outside, then turns to face me. We both look at each other for a moment, but it was clear neither of us are confident enough to do anything else.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he says.

"See you," I respond as he descends the steps from my porch.

I turn around and close the door, then lean against it, trying to catch my breath and steady my heartbeat. 

Later that night, after getting ready for bed, I get a text from Cyrus.

 **Cyrus:**  Goodnight. 

I smile as I text back.

 **TJ:**  Goodnight, Underdog. Sleep tight. 

 **Cyrus:**  :)

I don't think I'll be able to sleep. My head is spinning too much. There's no denying the fact that I have a giant-ass crush on Cyrus Goodman—but what now?

____________________________________

I wake up the next morning feeling drained. I hardly slept last night, because I was thinking about Cyrus, and when I did sleep, I dreamt about him. He was officially invading every inch of my mind. Every time I tried to fall asleep, my thought drifted back to the way it felt to have his hands in mine and his head on my shoulder. Did that really happen? Or was that a dream, too? 

It wasn't just Cyrus I was thinking about, but also my parents. I want to come out to them. I want to tell them that I like guys, that I like girls and guys. Even if Cyrus really is straight, and everything that happened was just him being his adorable, quirky self, I won't be able to have a chance with a boy unless I'm honest about who I like. 

I go to check my phone and see a text from Cyrus on the screen.

 **Cyrus:**  Remember to be at Andi's at 9:00. 

I almost forgot. Today is Thursday, which means the weekend has begun and I'm supposed too be at Andi's in less than an hour. 

 **TJ:**  I'll be there.

I'm leaving soon. What do I have to lose? I could come out to my parents now and if it doesn't go well, I'm leaving anyway. They'll have time to forget about it, wake up tomorrow thinking it was just a dream. 

I get ready in the bathroom and finish packing the last of the things I need in a bag, then drag it down the stairs, it's bottom bumping on each carpeted step.  I can tell them over breakfast. That's perfect. 

As I touch the main floor, I overhear a conversation from the kitchen. It's my parents. 

"Did Nora tell you about what Amber told her yesterday?" comes my mom's voice. Nora is my aunt, Amber's mom. I guess my dad must've said no, but I couldn't hear him, because my mom continues, saying, "She said she's bisexual." 

_She did?_

"Nora's not sure what to do," my mom goes on. "They think she might just be confused, because she's dated boys before."

"I hope it all works itself out," my dad says. 

"Oh, I'm sure it will," my mom says. "They love her so much. It must be so hard seeing your child so confused about their feelings, and knowing you can't help."

 _They think she's confused? Will they think I'm confused?_  I feel my gut twist. I can't do this. It's too hard. I'll try again another time. Maybe.

I pull my bag over my shoulder, and go over to open the door. The door creaks, though I was trying to be quiet. I don't want to talk right now. 

"Bye, sweetheart!" my mother calls from the kitchen. "Have fun!"

"Thanks," is all I say before closing the door behind me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this. I'm super excited about where this is going.


	6. Chapter 6

**Cyrus' POV**  
  
  


"When's TJ getting here?" Andi asks me.

It's ten past 9:00, and the only person who hasn't showed up yet is TJ.

"He's almost here," I say, even though I haven't gotten a response from him yet about where he is.

"I'll try calling him," Amber says, pulling out her phone.

"Don't bother," I say. "I already tried. "He's probably just not checking his phone because he's in a hurry."

"Well, my dad is waiting in the car, and we said we'd be there by noon," Andi says.

I take another glance out the window, looking for a sign of the late boy's arrival. All of a sudden, I notice his figure emerge from the edge of the window. I rush to open the front door and let him in.

"I'm here," TJ says as he slows from a run at the door. He's panting to catch his breath. It was probably difficult running here with his large duffel bag weighing him down.

"You're late," Buffy says as he enters.

"I'm sorry," he responds. "I forgot to set my alarm."

I immediately notice the bags under his eyes. He looks like he didn't sleep at all. He also has a frown on his face and a certain sluggishness in his motions.

"It's fine," Andi says, "but we've got to go, so come on."

She waves for us to follow her out to the car. Buffy, Jonah, and Amber all leave, but I stop TJ as he's about to do the same, taking his hand and pulling him back.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask.

He puts a smile on his face and says, "Yeah, just a little tired."

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

"I know," he says, clearly failing at trying to sound like my suggestion about him not being okay is crazy. "I'm fine. Let's just go. I can't wait to see the lodge."

He grins with teeth and turns away to leave through the door.

_______________________________________

Bowie's description of the The Grand Cedar Lodge is underwhelming compared to the real thing. Deciduous trees tower overhead, encompassing the series of cabins where guests are able to stay, with the actual lodge building in the centre, where people can eat at it's diner, or simply relax in sofas around a fire. But the main attraction is the giant lake where canoes are afloat and kids are splashing.

As I step out onto the gravel pathway, I stand gawking at the sights.

"Impressed?" Buffy asks.

"It's majestic," I say.

Coming toward us on the path is a tall woman with a bright red coat and brown hair in perfectly sculpted curls. She immediately embraces Bowie with a smile.

"Oh, it's so good to see you again, Stephen," she says.

"I go by Bowie mostly," he responds.

"And Bex!" She hugs her next, then turns to the rest of us. "And which one is my great niece?" She asks, scanning our group.

Andi puts her hand up. "That would be me."

She's instantly swallowed up in her arms. "Andi, your dad said you were beautiful and he was right."

"Thanks, uh . . ."

"Call me Auntie Linda." She releases Andi and averts her attention to the rest of us. "And these are you friends?"

"Yeah," Andi responds. She points to each of us as she says, "This is Amber, Buffy, Jonah, Cyrus and TJ."

"Oh, I'm so delighted to meet you all." Then she leans over to say the next part. "And you've come at the best of times. We're celebrating our twenty-year anniversary tomorrow evening. There will be a dinner and speeches and a dance with all of the employees and guests here at Grand Cedar, and of course you will all be attending as well!"

"That's awesome," Andi says.

"I'm glad you're glad. Now come with me, children," she says, waving for us to follow her. "I'll show you to your cabin."

She leads us down the pathway, which extends between the lodge and the field in front of the lake, to the cabins tucked behind trees at the far end of the water's edge. We stop at a log cabin on the edge of the water, sitting right across from a wooden dock. The dock extends out over the lake, but doesn't have any boats nestled up against it. It's alone and peaceful.

"Here we are!" Linda announces. "I'll let you kids get settled in." She smiles before patting Bowie on the shoulder and walking back down the path from which we came.

Andi opens the door to the cabin and peeks inside. Then turns to Bowie, saying, "You guys aren't staying with us, right?"

Bowie chuckles, pulling her into a side hug. "Nah, Bex and I figured you probably wouldn't want your parents hanging around with your friends."

"We'll be staying in a room in the lodge," Bex says. "It's on the second floor. Number 208. We'll be right there if you need anything."

"I'm sure we'll be fine," Andi says.

"Okay, well, we'll see you kids later," Bowie says as he and Bex step away.

Andi rushes into the cabin, followed by the rest of us. Other than a ceiling fan with a light attached to it, the room contains nothing more than a closet, a chest of drawers, one bedside table, and three sets of bunkbeds.

"I'll call the one by the window," Andi says, going over to drop her bag on the mattress.

"And I'll take the one on top," Amber says, trailing after Andi. Andi smiles as she approaches, and I watch as Amber chucks her own bag onto the top bunk.

TJ goes over to the opposite side of the room, setting his belongings on the bottom bed.

"Mind if I take the top?" I ask him.

He doesn't look at me when he answers, but says, "Sure."

His lack of emotion both hurts and worries me, and I'm divided over which side of my feelings should be taking over this council inside my head. _Did he not hold my hand yesterday? Were we not cuddling on his couch? Does he regret it?_  I decide to ignore it for now, and ascend the ladder to set my bag down.

___________________________________

**TJ's POV**  
  


We just hung out for the rest of the afternoon. Jonah showed us how to play ultimate, which we played for about three hours before Bowie told us to come eat dinner. I was avoiding Cyrus the whole time. Well, not avoiding him, just not getting close to him. I can't. I don't want to feel this way, and I need it to fade away. I just need to keep in mind that we're friends—nothing more.   
The diner at the lodge did not have baby taters, which upset Andi and Buffy greatly. After eating, we all sit down in a circle of wooden benches by the edge of the lake and chat. I sit across from Cyrus, not wanting to be too close.

"Let's play a game," Amber suggests.

"Like what?" Buffy says.

"How about truth or dare?" She has a devious grin on her face, as though she wants to personally expose all of our deepest thoughts.

Apparently Andi doesn't see that, because she says, "Ooo, yeah! Okay, I'll start." She looks around the circle. "Amber, truth or dare?"

Amber taps her finger to her chin, contemplating with a smile. "Dare."

"Uh," Andi says, "give me a minute. I'm better at thinking of truths than dares." Finally, after a few seconds, she continues, "Eat a piece of grass."

Amber shrugs and bends over, then plucks a strand out of the dirt. She puts it in her mouth in one bite and chews it.

"Tastes like spinach," she says, which makes the whole group burst into laughter. "Okay, Jonah"—Jonah perks up, looking happy to be included in the game—"truth or dare?"

"Truth," he replies.

"Have you ever broken something of someone else's and not told them about it?"

He scratches the back of his neck. "Well, yeah."

"Whose?" Amber pushes.

"Uh, remember that butterfly figurine at your house?"

She nods, realizing where this is going.

"Yeah, I said I didn't know how it broke. I knocked it over."

"What?" She laughs. "You're lucky I didn't care about that, anyway."

Next Buffy does a dare. Jonah made her sing a song, and she's actually a surprisingly good, so it wasn't much of a dare. After she's finished, she asks Cyrus, and he takes truth, at which point he says he would rather skip a day of meals than eat one spider.

Then it's Cyrus' turn to ask someone. He glances at me, but I quickly look down. He takes the hint and asks Andi a truth. He asks her what the oldest food item in her refrigerator is.

"I don't know. Salsa?" she answers.

"You couldn't think of anything better?" Buffy says to Cyrus.

"I'm sorry," he responds. "I'm not good at revealing people's innermost secrets."

Andi laughs then scans the circle. "TJ."

I shoot my head up, caught off guard in the middle of my thoughts. "Truth."

She leans forward, not being able to get much closer without falling off her seat. Her knees are up against her chest with her heels hooked on the edge of the bench. "If you had to date someone in this group, who would it be?"

My heart goes into panic mode, and I can feel my face turning scarlet.

Buffy cuts in, saying, "Maybe that's a bit personal."

I feel my heart settle down, internally thanking Buffy, although, I don't know why she cares.

"What are you talking about?" Andi responds. "That's the whole point of the game." Then she turns her eyes back to me.

I glance at Cyrus, who's also looking at me, awaiting an answer. My heart rumbles out its beat again, and my head is starting to hurt.

"Dare," I say.

"You can't change your mind," Andi says, laughing at my absurd response.

"I can do whatever I want," I snipe back.

Then I stand up and curve around the bench, hurrying to walk away from the situation completely. I can't be there right now, and I sure as hell cannot answer that question. I need to find a place to calm down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, I was gonna continue this scene further, but I didn't expect it to be this long, so the next part will be in the next chapter. Sorry this chapter was a little dull. It takes a lot to introduce a new setting and characters, but I like where it's leading. Also, I promise this won't be one of those tragic homophobia stories, so don't worry about that. I'm going somewhere; just wait for me to get there.


	7. Chapter 7

**Cyrus' POV**  
  
  
  


"See, Andi?" Buffy says. "Too personal."

"I'm sorry," Andi responds. "I didn't think it was a big deal."

"Okay, then who would you date in this group?"

"Uh . . ." Andi gets flustered, her eyes glancing to the ground, then to Amber, then back to Buffy.

"See," Buffy says.

I look in the direction TJ left, then to Buffy.

"Go talk to him," she says, waving at me to go.

I nod and stand up. My chest is tight as I walk down the path, through the trees.  _Does he even want to talk to me?_  I find him sitting on the edge of the dock by our cabin. The lake is quiet in this area, without guests nearby to make noise. Orange sunset sparkles off the water. The fading light casts a shadow on TJ's back, reducing his shape to a silhouette, one I recognize easily from my dreams. Buffy was right. I do like him. I think that's the scariest part of approaching him—knowing that my heart is in his hands, and he has the power to tear it at any moment.

"Hey," I say.

He glances back at me, then returns his eyes to the horizon, which is hidden behind the trees on the other side of the lake. "Hey."

"What's up?" I ask gently, sitting down next to him.

His eyes flicker to where our knees touch, but doesn't move.

"Not a fan of truth or dare," he says, then he changes the subject. "I bet you can see the stars pretty good out here." He lies back on the dock, his legs dangling over the edge.

I lie on my back beside him, both of us staring up at the colourful sky. It looks like a watercolour painting, not the real world.

"No ambient light," I say.

"That was my favourite part about going camping as a kid. You can see everything."

 _Everything except what you're thinking._  The irony kills me.

We lie in silence. I listen to the sound of his steady breathing, as though he's trying so hard to control it at a constant tempo. 

Suddenly, he stands up. Immediately I think he's about to leave again, but instead I twist around to see him tugging off his shoes and socks and tossing them onto the dock. Then he pulls his shirt over his head, so he's left in just his jeans. I watch as he jets to the end of the pier and leaps off, shattering the surface of the lake with a splash that sprays my clothes.

"Get in here!" he shouts, a smile on his face.

"Aren't you freezing?" I ask.

"Nah, it's nice."

I stand up to remove my shirt and shoes, dropping them beside TJ's. Rather than jumping right in, I dip my toes in the water first, then let gravity do the work of pulling me into the water. I don't know what's wrong with TJ's sense of heat; the lake is certainly cold. Still, it's tolerable.

TJ smiles at me before stroking out away from the dock. I paddle after him, observing the way his wet hair flings water droplets around with his movement, and how the light gleams off the muscles in his arms. The sun is now at an angle that sends a glow across the water and us, colouring everything gold and shimmering on the ripples we make in the water. TJ stops and stretches out his arms so that he's floating on his back.

"Do you ever wonder how much more there is out there?" he says softly.

"All the time," I reply, staring up at the blush-coloured clouds.

"Like, if we're just a small speck in the sky, how can anything we do matter?"

I tilt my head to catch a view of him in my peripheral vision. He's still looking at the sky.

"How can there be so much out there, but I'd trade all of it for just one thing."

I let that sink in while we both float in the stillness of the dusk. Then I feel his fingers find mine, and our outstretched hands intertwine, slowly like vines growing up a trellis, connecting us so that we can't drift apart.

A long moment of quiet passes, then he lets my hand go and wades back toward the dock. We both climb up, and I sit there silently, watching him look out at the sun's reflection on the lake. I've never seen him like this before. He's never spoken like that before, at least not to me.

"Do you want to go back?" I ask him.

He shakes his head and looks at me. "I'm okay right here. Nothing changing, just this."

He keeps his eyes on me, and I keep mine on his. They're greener in this lighting, like the green of nature is in his genes, like it's part of him. My heart picks up speed as I feel myself moving closer. He stays still, his eyes on my lips. I'm so close I can feel his breath on my skin. Then—

"I should go," he says, turning himself away from me.

He stands up and goes to get his shirt and shoes. I stay there at the edge of the dock, pants soaked and plastered to my legs, skimming the face of the water with my bare toes.  _Should I go after him? Does he want me to?_ And just like that, I wish I could take back the heart he's scraping away at. The problem is, I don't know how.

_____________________________________

**TJ's POV**

I lie awake in bed, staring up at the bottom of the bunk where Cyrus lay, even though I see nothing but darkness. I can't sleep. The others hushed out of consciousness hours ago, but my head is racing around to the point where I'm having a headache. Cyrus almost kissed me. How did it get that close? I can't have that happen. The thought of everything changing like that terrifies me, and I know that once I admit I like him, then I'll have to worry about coming out, which is indeed the scariest part. Will people look at me differently? Will my parents believe me? Will my teammates look down on me?

I roll over onto my side and notice a light coming from Amber'a bunk. I lift myself out of bed and shuffle over to it.

"Hey," I whisper.

She startles slightly, but settles quickly, locking her phone, which happened to be the device projecting the light.

"What are you doing up?" she asks me.

"Can't sleep. I assume you can't either?"

She shakes her head. "Brain is spinning."

"Same." I rest my elbows on the edge of her bed. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," she replies. "Let's go outside."

She climbs down from her bunk, each ladder rung creaking a little under her weight. Her and I exit through the door, carefully closing it so as not to wake anyone. I follow her up the path to the closest wooden bench on the water's edge.

"So," she says as she sits on the bench in a cross-legged position, "what did you want to talk about?"

"Why'd you come out to your parents?" I ask bluntly.

She's caught off guard, and takes a minute to process my question. "How did you—"

"I heard my parents talking about it."

"Oh," she responds quietly. "Are you okay with it?"

"Yeah, no, I didn't mean it in that way. I just, I wanted to know what made you want to tell them."

"Oh, um, well I kind of had a thing for this girl. And to be honest, I just didn't want to hide it anymore."

"Who?" I ask, but then I realized it. "Andi?"

She bites her lip, smiling. "I told her tonight. She said she likes me too."

"That's great," I say, preoccupied with my thoughts. "Didn't your parents think you were confused or something?"

She frowns. "Well, yeah . . ."

"How can you handle that? I don't know what I'd do if my parents didn't accept me."

"TJ, they still love me. They just don't understand it. They think I can only like boys or girls, not both. They think I need to choose to only date one or the other in order to be happy, because they think just dating who I like won't work or something." She shakes her head. "They're not trying to make me feel bad. They just need time and education. I know I can show them that what I feel is real and valid. It's just going to take a bit more effort than I want it to."

I don't think I'd be able to do that. She's clearly ten times braver than I am. I couldn't be around my parents knowing they don't believe me or support me. It's too hard.

"Are we really talking about me?" she wonders, seeing the stress on my face.

That question snaps the last twig in the dam holding back my tears and I start to cry. Immediately, she puts her arm around me and rubs my shoulder.

"I can't," I say, my words distorted by my sobs.

I don't know when Amber began tearing up, but now her face is streaked too.

"You don't have to," she says. "You can wait."

I can wait. _I can, can't I?_ But will Cyrus wait for me to be ready to be with him? I can't expect him to do that for me. I just have to be his friend, nothing more than that. I cannot let myself get close to him. We cannot have another near-kiss. I can't let my feelings take over. _I can't._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am torturing TJ and I'm sorry for that, but a great author once told me that the best way to make the readers fall in love with the characters is to make them suffer. Thank you so much for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this hurts to read, and I literally hate this so much, but if I gave you feels, then I think I did my job as a writer. I wanted to make something that feels real, that makes the readers truly understand the perspective of the characters.

**Cyrus' POV**

 

At breakfast, TJ doesn't even look at me. He sits on the opposite side of the table, talking to Jonah about who knows what. They laugh together every once in a while, which I try to ignore by focusing my attention on the freshly made waffles on my plate. I poke at them with my fork, releasing steam, but I don't feel hungry.

Buffy notices my poor appetite and asks, "Hey, are you okay?"

I shake my head. Everything is definitely not okay. 

She leans across me and interrupts Andi and Amber's giggling between sentences by murmuring, "We'll be right back."

Andi nods and returns back to her conversation. Buffy grabs my wrist and pulls me up to follow her into the hallway just outside the diner. The walls are a pale blue, with paintings of landscapes hung up high. Above us, wooden beams stripe the peaked ceiling.

"I assume this is about TJ," she says. "What happened between you two?"

I lean my back against the wall, feeling like I won't be able to keep myself from dropping if I don't have something to stabilize me.

"I don't know," I say. "He just won't talk to me."

"What happened last night when you went to find him?"

I look at my feet, then at her with sad eyes. "We almost kissed."

She gasps. "What?"

"But then he left. And now I'm afraid he's mad at me."

"Cyrus," she says, "I hate to admit this, because I'm not exactly TJ's biggest fan, but you two are so damn cute together I can't stand it. Whatever it is, I'm sure it can be figured out." That makes me smile a little. "Plus if he hurts you in any way, he's going to have to deal with me."

I shake my head, my smile gone. "Don't."

"Sorry," she says, surprised by my reaction. "I was just joking."

"I know," I mumble. "I just need to talk to him."

"Okay," she says as though she finally understands me. "Good luck."

"Thanks."

When Buffy and I re-enter the diner, I immediately walk over to where TJ is talking to Jonah and interrupt their conversation.

"Can I talk to you?"

TJ looks up at me, his face lacking any emotion at all. "Okay."

He stands up and I motion for him to come with me out of the diner. We stop in a corner of the hall that lacks the traffic of guests streaming through, then I spin to face him, blurting out the question in the front of my mind.

"What's going on with you?"

He rolls his eyes. "Nothing. I—I don't want to talk about it."

"Did I say something?"

"Cyrus, I said it's nothing," he pushes.

"Don't say it's nothing!" I notice the raise in my volume, but I don't care enough to correct it. "Look, you've been avoiding me, and you haven't spoken to me since yesterday. If it's something I did, I want to know!"

I can't take it anymore. I hate seeing his sad puppy dog eyes. I miss seeing his smile light up the room faster than a lamp, and I absolutely cannot handle the idea that I might've done something to drive that smile away. Even though it hurts every second that he refuses to talk to me, I couldn't live with myself if I just let it go.

"Cyrus!" he shouts. "Don't you get it! It's everything you did!" He looks down at the floor to his left. "It's everything."

 _Everything._ Before now, I wouldn't have believed someone if they had told me the weight of one word can rupture the earth with a force so powerful it would make a nuclear explosion kneel before it.

"TJ—" I try to reach for his hand, but he backs away.

"No, Cyrus, just leave me alone!"

I try to look at his eyes, but they're avoiding mine.

"Okay," I say softly. "Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

I turn away and head back toward the diner, letting him stand alone in the hallway. On my way in, I pass by Bex.

"Cyrus," she says, stopping me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I mumble. "I just want to finish my breakfast."

She nods and lets me continue by. 

 

**TJ's POV**

 

I stumble back against the hallway wall and let myself crumble to the ground. I don't know what to do anymore. Everything feels so messed up. How did things get this complicated?

Suddenly, I hear a voice. "Hey." It's Bex. She walks over and slides down against the wall beside me. "I know I'm new to this whole mom thing, and I'm not exactly the best at giving life advice, but if you want to talk to someone, I can listen."

I shake my head.

"Okay," she responds in a whisper.

She starts to stand back up, but I stop her suddenly, saying, "What do you do when what you want is something you can't have?"

Her voice is gentle as she answers, "In my experience, you can have anything you want. Some things just take a bit more work. Or courage." 

"I don't think I have that," I mutter.

She wraps her arms around her knees and locks her hands together. "You know, nothing good comes easy. Trust me, I know. When I had Andi, I was terrified. I'll always regret the day I left home, but the best choice I ever made was coming back. Now I have this beautiful, amazing girl, and I wouldn't trade her for the world." She pauses to exhale heavily. "The point is, none of that was easy. But it did make me realize I was a lot braver than I thought I was."

She knows. She has to know. How could she say something so perfect if she didn't know. And even worse is she might be right. Maybe I have to leave this comfortable place I've built and step outside. But how can I do that now? All I've done is push Cyrus away. He deserves someone who has this stuff figured out, who isn't a cracked glass ready to shatter. He deserves better. He deserves better than me.

"I screwed up," I whisper, rubbing the mist from my eyes with my hands.

"Then try screwing down," she suggests.

That's probably both the dumbest and smartest advice I've ever received, but I just don't know how I can possibly fix things at this point.

She looks at me with kind eyes, as though I might brake if she even breathes too hard. "Follow your heart. That seems to work well most of the time."

I smile at her to thank her, though nothing she said even matters. I wish I could go back and undo the choices I made, but I can't. I just don't know where to go from here.


	9. Chapter 9

**Cyrus' POV**

 

"I'd like to say thank you once more to everyone for joining us in celebrating twenty years of The Grand Cedar Lodge!" Andi's great aunt says from the stage. "Without you all, we wouldn't be here, creating memorable experiences for new and returning guests everyday."

The diner is packed with people, and each table is filled to its capacity. Everyone is wearing semi-formal ties and dresses except for our group of friends, who didn't realize this was happening until we got here. Still, we did our best to look presentable, which basically just means none of us are wearing pyjamas.

At our table, Buffy and Andi are on either side of me, with Amber next to Andi, followed by TJ right across from me, and Jonah beside him. As expected, TJ's not looking at me, but that's because he's currently turned around in his chair to face the stage, so I guess he's just being respectful. Still, it bothers me.

"I hope you all enjoyed the amazing food made by our extremely talented kitchen team." Linda gestures to the uniformed adults waving at the back of the room, and the crowd applauds. "Next, I'd like to invite you all up to the front as we move onto the dancing portion of the night."

A few cheers erupt as the music kicks in, playing a beat I recognize, but that's likely just because all pop music sounds the same to me. Amber immediately takes Andi's hand and leads her through the tables to the dance floor. Jonah and TJ don't dance, but instead go over to the drink table.

"Come on," Buffy says, pulling my wrists to get me up.

"I'm not feeling it," I say.

She rolls her eyes and plops back down in her seat to look at me. "Look, Cyrus, you're undeniably one of the best people I know. You're fantastic, and if TJ doesn't see that, then that's his loss."

"Thanks," I say.

"You're welcome. Now get up and let's dance!"

She drags me over to the crowd and starts swaying to the tune. I let myself relax and let loose, dancing along with her, although not nearly as well. When the song ends, we're laughing together, and I feel a lot better.

"See?" she says. "Dancing fixes everything."

I smile. "Yes, you were right."

And then everything falls apart again; Ed Sheeran's "Thinking Out Loud" comes on.  _Of all the songs they could play, they pick this one._ The crowd divides into groups of two around us. Even Amber and Andi come together, Andi's arm's around Amber's neck. I walk off the floor, feeling out of place, and Buffy follows me back to our table.

"You were doing so good," she says, noticing my deflated mood.

I glance over at the drink table where Jonah and TJ are standing. TJ catches my gaze and sets down his drink on the table. Then he says something to Jonah and rushes out of the room, leaving Jonah standing there with a puzzled expression.

Then Bex appears from behind me and sits down in the empty chair beside me. She smiles at Buffy before focusing her attention on me.

"How are you doing?" she asks.

"I've been better," I admit.

"Is it TJ?"

Her question surprises me. "How much do you know?" I ask.

"He was pretty upset this morning."

"He shouldn't be upset. He's the one pushing me away. I should be upset."

"So you're upset."

I nod.

"Well, the good thing is that means you still care."

I do care. I don't know what's wrong with my brain, but for some reason I can't be mad at TJ. I care too much. Maybe that's a character flaw of mine. I guess I'll have to add 'be mad at TJ' to the list of easy things I can't do.

"I think you should talk to him," she says.

I shake my head. "I've tried that twice and both times it did not go well."

She shrugs. "Third time's the charm?"

 

**TJ's POV**

 

I sit on the dock, my legs hanging over with my bare feet dipped in the water. It's late. The sun's already down and the stars would be visible if not for the clouds covering overhead. The scent of pine lingers in the air, accompanying the quiet whistle of the breeze through the trees. Everyone's inside at the celebration, but I'm out here, trying to breathe. I haven't been able to do that properly for a while.

I hear footsteps approaching, and I don't need to turn around to know who it is. He sits down beside me, this time staying a normal distance away.I want him closer. 

"I'm not much of a dancer, either," he says.

I look down at my twiddling thumbs. "I'm sorry." I pause to formulate my words, but nothing better comes to my head. "Cyrus, I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven. Now can I ask what's wrong?"

I wait for a moment, not knowing how to say it. I don't want to lie anymore. Being honest takes a lot of courage, which I'm not sure if I have, but maybe Bex was right. Maybe I am braver than I think. Or maybe keeping a wall up is simply more draining than letting it fall apart. Maybe it just takes a lot more effort to lie than it does to tell the truth, even if that means letting down a shield that could be protecting me from being stabbed to death. Trying to stay behind it is just too suffocating.

"I'm scared," I finally mutter.

"Of me?"

"Yeah. And how I feel about you."

"How do you feel?"

I look up at the sky. The clouds are still blocking any starlight from passing through.

"You see how the clouds are covering the stars?" I say, pointing upward. "I'd be okay with never seeing the stars again as long as I can still see you."

He doesn't respond for a moment, and I'm worried he hates me for saying that, but mostly I just feel relieved to finally get it off my chest. It's like the weight I've been dragging around just disintegrated into thin air.

"That's poetic," he says.

"I'm sorry," I say again.

"Why?"

"I shouldn't have said anything. You probably hate me now."

"I don't hate you," he says. 

I turn to meet his eyes with mine and they lock instantaneously.

"I'd understand if you did." I say. "All I've done is push you away. You'd have to be pretty amazing to like me after that."

"So you think I'm amazing?"

"What?" 

"TJ," he says, "you can be oblivious."

That makes me smile, and I notice his brown eyes flicker to my lips. This time I don't stop him when he places his hand on my jaw. I don't pull away when I feel his lips touch mine. I give the butterflies in my stomach permission to come out of their cage, and I let myself feel this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud is an unstoppable force. Trust me, I know. I hope this relieved some of the stress I've been building, but it's not over yet. I truly thank you guys for reading and staying this far. You mean the world to me, and I am so grateful for you.


	10. Chapter 10

**Cyrus' POV**

 

After a while, we finally separate, but his hand stays locked with mine. _I can't believe I just did that. I just kissed TJ Kippen—and he kissed me back._

He smiles as he falls back on the dock, looking up at the sky. I do the same. 

"I really like you, Cyrus," he says softly.

"I really like you too, TJ," I respond, firming my grip on his hand. I don't want to let him go. 

"What do I do now?"

"What do you mean?"

He rubs his face with his free hand. "I'm scared. I'm scared of what comes next—coming out."

I know exactly how he feels. "Me too." I turn my head to look at him. "But you know we'll figure this out." I know we will. I feel like the world is in my hands. I kissed TJ Kippen and he likes me back. How could anything stop us now?

"We," he repeats. "I like that."

I stare at him, noticing the way the blue of the moonlight makes his blonde hair glow. After a moment, he turns his head to match my gaze. Then he shifts himself up on his elbow so he can lean over and kiss me again. 

"Sorry," he says. "I just really wanted to do that again."

"Don't apologize," I say. "I like it. I like you."

He smiles, then sits up. "Do you want to go back to the party?"

"Are you ready to go back?" I ask.

He nods. "As ready as I'll ever be."

I smile as he stands, pulling my up by my hand. We walk back to the lodge, and stop at the doors to the diner. Once we enter, we'll be seen.

"Are you worried?" I ask him. "About what they'll think?"

"Not them. I think they'll be okay."

"I think so too."

He takes the first step, our hands still knotted together like string. I don't let him go. I'm not going to let him be alone anymore. I'm going to be by his side through it all. And I think he's going to let me.

Buffy is the first to notice us. She perks up, hitting Jonah on the arm, causing him to look over at us as well. They both watch as we approach them at the table and sit down. 

"So I assume it went well," she says. "I'm so happy for you two."

"I'm confused," Jonah says.

TJ glances at me, and I start to explain it to Jonah. "TJ and I are—" I look to TJ who gives me a nod of confirmation "—a couple." 

"Wait," Jonah responds, "were you not before?"

That makes Buffy burst into laughter. "They practically were," she says to Jonah. 

I feel my face turn red. TJ and I share a glance. He's blushing too. 

Then I hear Bex coming up behind us, saying, "Hey, guys!" She has a wide grin on her face. "What's up?"

"TJ and Cyrus are dating now," Buffy tells her, which makes Bex's grin spread even wider than I thought was possible. 

"That's so cute! I love it!"

The song projecting through the speakers switches to another fast-paced pop song, and TJ frowns. 

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I wish I hadn't missed my chance to slow dance with you."

I feel myself blush again. 

"Hold on," Bex cuts in. "I've got this." Then she zips off between the maze of tables. 

Buffy chuckles, then moves onto another topic. "Jonah, are you gonna finish that?"

Jonah looks down at the slice of half-eaten cheesecake on his plate. "Probably not."

"Can I have it?"

He pushes the dish over to her side of the table, where she immediately grabs her fork to devour it. 

"Wanna get dessert?" TJ asks. 

"Sure."

I follow him over to the back of the room, where a long table holds a plethora of goodies. I immediately reach for a brownie and take a bite. TJ picks up a butter tart. We watch the crowd dance as we finish our desserts. Then TJ looks over at me and brushes my cheek with his finger. 

"You had brownie on your face," he says. 

The song playing fades out and what plays next is surely Bex's work. Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting" begins, and TJ gives me a look with his eyebrows raised as if asking if I'm thinking the same thing. 

I certainly am. I take his hand and pull him over to the dance floor. He puts his arms around my waist and I put mine around his neck. He smiles down at me as we start swaying to the music. 

"Oh my gosh, finally!" Andi's voice rings out.

I didn't notice her and Amber slow dancing beside us. They're both looking at us with intense grins on their faces.

"You guys are so cute!" Amber says. 

TJ grins at me and I feel butterflies in my stomach. As the song goes on, TJ pulls me closer and I rest my head on his shoulder. I've never been this close to him before and I never want to move from this position. But as the song ends, I do move. I lift my head up to see his lips, which come down to meet mine. It's soft and gentle, yet still makes my heart thump. I like this. I like him. 

______________________________________

"You got everything packed?" I ask.

The rest of the weekend flew by, and now TJ and I are the last ones left gathering our belongings. The others are all out loading their things into Bowie's car. 

"Almost," TJ says. He comes over and wraps his arms around my waist. "Now I've got everything."

"That was cheesy and cliché and I love it."

He gives me a light kiss on my lips before letting me go. We lift our bags out of the cabin and I close the door behind us. TJ glances over at the dock on the lake and sets his bag down on the grass. I do the same and follow him to the end of the dock, where I curl my hand into his. 

The sun beams off the lake, showing the reflection of the trees on the water.  _This is where everything changed._

"Are you scared of leaving?" I ask. 

He removes his hand from mine and brings his arms around me instead, so that my back is against chest. He holds me against him with his chin on my shoulder, both of us staring out at the trees. 

"Once we leave, we have to deal with everything else out there," he says.

"We," I remind him. 

"I wish we could stay here forever." He kisses my head, keeping his arms tight around my chest.

"Me too," I say. "You know, if you want me to be there when you tell your parents, I can do that."

"Nah," he says. "I think I should tell them on my own."

"If you're sure."

"What about you? Are you going to tell your parents?"

"Yeah, but I think they'll be fine with it. They've helped lots of LGBT patients before, so it'll probably be okay."

"Why haven't you told them yet, then?"

"It's still scary, you know?" 

"Yeah, I know."

We stand together in the silence for a moment until it's broken by Andi's shouting.

"Hey, guys, it's time to go!" she calls. 

TJ lets me go and takes my hand. Then we stroll back up the dock toward the land.  _Goodbye, lake. I'll never meet another place as simply perfect as you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I don't like it when relationships are too forced, because I feel like they ruin the moments that could be really sweet and adorable, so I've made an effort to gradually build things for this whole story. And guys, THIS IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE. I literally loved writing every second of this, and I was squealing the whole time. Got big things planned for the rest of the story. It's gonna be a hoot & a half, so stick around for the next chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

**TJ's POV**

 

As I walk up to my front door, my heart is pounding. I have to adjust my grip on my bag, because the sweat on my hands is causing it to slip. I'm going to tell them now. I'll just get in there and rip the Band-Aid off. 

I open the door, which immediately signals for my parents to come over and welcome me home. My mother hugs me. 

"Hi, sweetie. How was your trip? Did you have fun?" she asks with wide eyes.

I nod. "Actually, I need to . . . uh."

 _I can't do it. Not now. It's too hard._  I feel my throat dry up, and it feels as though my lungs have decided to stop filling with air. 

". . . take a shower," I manage to utter before racing up the stairs to my bedroom. 

I shut the door behind me and drop my bag on the floor before letting myself sink to the ground. My sleeves become soaked with tears as I wipe my eyes. I thought I could do it. Why does it have to be this hard? 

Then I hear a sound from my bag and I unzip it to pull out my phone. I smile when I see a text from Cyrus, and smudge another tear across my face with my arm. 

 **Cyrus:**  Hey.

 **TJ:**  Hey. Can I video-chat you?

I don't wait for a response. I tap the screen and wait for the ringing to stop. When it does, I see Cyrus' concerned face. 

"Are you okay?" he asks. 

For a second before he asked that, I forgot that I probably look like I just watched a puppy die. 

"I'm fine," I say.

He shakes his head. "You are not fine. What's wrong?"

"I can't talk about it here," I reply. "My parents might overhear."

"You didn't tell them?"

"I tried."

"Do you want to come over?" he asks. 

"I'm leaving now."

"See you soon," he says before ending the chat. 

_____________________________________

I don't even have to knock. Cyrus opens the door for me as I'm walking up. He hugs me when I step inside. 

"You look better," he says. "I mean you always look good. You just don't look all puffy-eyed and sad anymore."

I smile at that. "No, I'm okay. Seeing you makes things better."

He shuts the door to seal out the breeze. We go upstairs to his room. I've seen it before, but some things are different. There are still light green walls, which are still lined with shelves of books, mostly non-fiction, but it's less messy. He must've cleaned since I last came over. 

"Do you want to do something or do you just want to talk?" he asks. 

I pull out a box from the bottom of his shelf and hold it up. "I challenge you."

"You're on."

I set up the checkerboard on his bed. He sits on the side of the bed opposite from me, pondering over his first move. He moves one of the red pieces diagonally. As we play, he starts talking. 

"So what was wrong?"

"Nothing, I just . . ." I sigh. "I couldn't tell them."

"You know you don't have to do it right away."

"I know. It's just . . . I don't want to keep it a secret. I don't want to keep you a secret."

"Hah," he says, slapping his game piece down on the board in front of mine. "You just lost one of your men."

"So checker pieces are men now?"

He laughs. 

Suddenly, we hear a door slam from downstairs, followed by footsteps. 

"I think my parents are home," Cyrus says. "Would you help me with something?"

"Sure, what?"

"Are you okay if I tell them about you?"

"Right now?"

"There's no time like the present."

I take a breath. "Of course."

He smiles and climb off the bed. He holds my hand as we leave the room, letting it go before we descend the stairs. At the bottom, his parents smile and greet us. 

"Hi, Cyrus, TJ. How was your weekend?" his mom asks. 

"It was fun," Cyrus replies. "Hey, can I tell you something?"

"Anything," she says. She stands waiting beside Cyrus' step-dad, both of them wide-eyed and clueless.

"You know how TJ's my friend?"

They nod.

"Well, he's not my friend." Cyrus takes a shuddering breath before continuing. "He's my boyfriend. I'm gay."

"Oh, honey," his mom says, rushing to hug him. Cyrus melts into the embrace. "You know we love you no matter what, right?"

Cyrus smiles as she lets him go. His eyes are watering, but he's doing his best to hold it back. 

"Thanks, mom," he says. 

Then his step-dad approaches me, and sticks out his hand. "TJ, take good care of my boy." 

I take his grasp, and he gives my hand a firm shake, then gives my back a hard pat.

"I will," I say, looking over at Cyrus, who's smiling at me, his eyes glistening with tears. 

"Why don't you stay for dinner, TJ?" his mom suggests. 

"Sure," I respond. "Thank you."

"It's the least we can do. You make our Cyrus so happy, and that's all a parent could ever want for their child."

Cyrus' face turns red, and I grin at him, probably blushing just as hard.

"Let's go get supper started," his mom continues, motioning for Cyrus' step-dad to follow her into the kitchen. 

When they're gone, Cyrus comes over to me and takes my hands. "That went well," he says. 

"I'm glad," I say.

"I hope it goes well for you too."

"Thanks," I respond before giving his forehead a kiss. 

He smiles and tilts his face up to kiss my lips. 

______________________________________

"How was dinner at your friend's house?" my mom asks as I enter the house. 

"Good," I say, feeling my pulse pick up.

I head toward the stairs and rush down. I don't want to be around my parents right now. I think I might break. 

I find my sister in the basement, playing with little plastic horses on the table. 

"Move over, TK," I say. 

She ignores me, still banging her horses on the table as they gallop around. I turn on my PS4 and slide in the disk for Red Dead Redemption. Then I plop down on the couch and put my feet up on the table, invading her ponies' habitat. 

"Mom doesn't like it when you play that around me," she says. 

"Well, are you going to tell her?"

She grins and shakes her head. "I'm good at keeping secrets."

"Good."

Then I hear my phone chime. It's Cyrus.

 **Cyrus:**  Good night, TJ. I hope you sleep okay.

 **TJ:**  You too, Underdog. 

 **Cyrus:**  :)

"Who are you texting?" TK asks. "You're smiling awfully big."

I contemplate my answer for a moment, then respond, "TK, you're good at keeping secrets, right?"

She nods. 

"Because who I'm texting is a secret."

"I promise I won't tell."

"Not even Mom and Dad?"

She mimes zipping her lips shut with her hand. I guess I'll tell her. It'll be easier to start small, anyway. And she's much smaller than my parents. 

"I'm texting my boyfriend," I say, feeling my rapid pulse return.

"Like a friend who's a boy?"

"No," I say. "Like a girlfriend, but a boy."

"Oh," she says, making her pony gallop across the table again. "If you get married can I still be a bridesmaid?"

I laugh, relieved. 

"You can be a groomswoman," I say.

She smiles, satisfied with my answer. "Okay."

She goes back to focusing on her toys. She doesn't even care about me having a boyfriend.  _How are kids so much more understanding than adults?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a whole lot happened, but we finally got to meet TJ's sister. What TK stands for is as mysterious as what TJ stands for. I hope you liked it.


	12. Chapter 12

**TJ's POV**

 

I notice Amber on my way into the Spoon. She's dressed in her uniform, but it doesn't look like she's started working yet.

"Amber," I call. 

She spins around just as she's about to open the door, and stops when she sees me. "Hey, TJ."

"How's it going? How are you and Andi?" I ask.

Her smile instantly droops, and she steps away from the door to talk to me. 

"It's okay, I mean, we're great, and Bex and Bowie are super awesome about it."

"Your parents aren't?"

She shakes her head and lets out a heavy breath. "I thought they would be. I was planning to tell them about her last night, but then they started asking me if there were any boys I was interested in, and my dad made a joke about my future husband needing to be patient with how long it takes me to get ready in the morning, and . . . yeah."

"That sucks." I genuinely don't know what else to say. She kind of hit me with a flood of emotions. Although, I've done that to her before too, so I can't exactly judge her.

"No kidding. I guess they've just decided to ignore everything I told them before I left for the weekend. So now I'm back to square one." 

I don't respond. I don't know how to.

She glances at the window then says, "My shift is starting."

She walks toward the door and holds it open for me after her. I enter and see Cyrus, Buffy and Andi all stuffed in a booth. Cyrus greets me with a smile as I scoot in beside him. 

"Hey," I say to the group. "Where's Jonah?"

"He's at a guitar lesson with my dad," Andi replies. "He'll join us later."

"Anyway, so the badminton try-outs are this Thursday," Buffy says, changing the subject completely. "That means I'll have to wake up early to be at school at 7:00 for that, then I have basketball practice after school."

"That's a long day," Andi says. "Are you sure you want to try out for badminton? I mean, you've never shown any interest in it until last week."

"Of course," Buffy says. "I didn't do track this year, and I can't do just one sport. That's lame."

"Why didn't you do track?" I ask. 

She puts down the milkshake she was sipping and sighs. 

"Marty," Andi answers for her. 

"Who's Marty?" 

"Her former virtual boyfriend," Andi says. 

"We were just friends," Buffy explains. "But he wanted to be more and now we don't talk anymore."

"So you can't be on the track team because . . .?"

"He's going to be there."

"Isn't that good?" I say. "You can talk again."

"It's not that simple," Andi refutes. 

"Anyway," Buffy says, reverting back to the original topic, "I've got a long day on Thursday."

"That reminds me," I say, turning to Cyrus, "I have a basketball game on Wednesday. You'll be there, right?"

"Obviously," Cyrus replies.

I put my arm around him and give him a kiss. 

"Eww," Buffy says jokingly. "Can you tone down the PDA?" She laughs. 

Cyrus snuggles into my arm which gets a baby tater thrown at him from Buffy. 

"You wasted a perfectly good baby tater!" Cyrus says.

Andi, Buffy and I laugh. Cyrus looks up at me, giving me incentive to kiss him again, which I do. 

Then an older man, probably in his forties, approaches our table and looks at Cyrus and I. 

"Excuse me," he says. "Could you two please not do that here? You're in a public place and it's making my family uncomfortable."

I'm shocked speechless, not knowing what to say. Buffy, on the other hand, has plenty to say.

"They're not going to stop anything," she states. "You and your family can look away."

Now everyone is staring, and the background conversations have vanished.

Amber notices the disturbance and comes up to us. "Is there a problem, sir?" she asks the man.

He turns to Amber. "Look, my kids are here with me and I don't want them to see this."

"Yeah?" she says, her voice dripping in sass. "Well, I don't want to see your face, so you and your family can find a new place to eat." 

The man is stunned, and Amber makes a little shooing motion with her hand. He goes over to his family and they collectively exit the diner. Once they're gone, a few kids in the room start clapping, which signals for the rest to applaud too. Amber takes a dramatic bow.

"Amber, that was amazing!" Andi cheers. 

"Thanks. I'm not supposed to sass the customers, but when people are being homophobic, all rules are gone."

She smiles and shares a gaze with Andi until Buffy waves her hand between them. 

"Hello? Am I the only one not lovesick here?"

"We need to do something about that," Cyrus says.

"No, we don't," Buffy responds, taking another sip of her milkshake.

____________________________________

The sound of the television travels from the living room to the top of the stairs where I stand, taking deep breaths, trying to steady my pulse. My parents are downstairs,  watching General Hospital like they've done every weekday since as long as I can remember. There's one character on that show who looks a lot like someone I've seen at school. 

I'm going to tell them now. No more putting it off. 

I step down the stairs, using the railing religiously to keep my balance. When I hit level ground again, I take one more quivering breath before going up to them.  _Should I wait for the commercial break?_ I don't have to, because the scene ends and switches right to an A&W ad.  _I guess that's my cue._

"Hey, mom, dad?" I step up in front of them. 

"Yeah?" My mom says. 

She stares at me with wide eyes, while my dad is silently sitting next to her, awaiting the rest of my sentence. 

I try to get the words out but they don't sound, so instead I say, "What are you watching?"

My mom chuckles. "Same as always. Do you want to join us?"

"Yeah—no." I pause. "I need to tell you something." There's another silence as I try to form the sentence. "I have a boyfriend."

They stare at me in shock, not blinking. 

"So you're gay?" my dad says.

"Not exactly. I'm bi."

My mom shakes her head. "Like Amber? Honey, this is just a fad. There are so many celebrities saying they're bisexual nowadays, but that doesn't mean you are."

I feel my palms starting to sweat as my pulse picks up. "That's not why I'm saying this! I am bisexual!"

My mom sighs. "We love you, honey, we do. And you can take as long as you need to figure this out—"

"Mom, there's nothing to figure out!"

I storm off up the stairs and slam the door to my room. The nearest pillow on my bed gets punched and whipped across the room. I crash down onto my bed, raking my hands through my hair, tears welling up in my eyes.  _They don't believe me. This is what I was afraid of.  I wonder if they'll pretend it didn't happen too, like Amber's parents for her._

I wasn't going to text Cyrus, but he texted me first, so I let my thoughts spill out.

 **Cyrus:**  Good news! My dad and step-mom are okay with it.

 **TJ:**  That's great! I wish it went that well for me.

 **Cyrus:**  What happened?

 **TJ:**  They think it's a phase. 

 **Cyrus:**  I'm sorry. 

 **TJ:**  Don't be. I'm glad I have you to talk to.

 **Cyrus:**  Same here. 

 **Cyrus:**  I've got to go, but I'll talk to you at school tomorrow. I hope everything works out.

 **TJ:**  Thanks. Goodnight.

 **Cyrus:**  Goodnight. 

I put down my phone right as I hear a knock on my door. 

"Go away!" I shout. 

She doesn't listen. My mom creaks open the door, and steps over to my bed. I roll onto my side to face away from her. 

"I'm sorry," she says, which makes me turn over. "Your father and I shouldn't have been so judgmental."

I sit up, not knowing how to respond to this sudden personality flip. 

"We want to meet your . . . boyfriend." She smiles, but it doesn't look sincere. "Invite him over for dinner tomorrow evening."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow. We want to meet the boy who made you feel this way."

"Uh . . . okay."

"Good," she says, standing up again. "Have a good night, sweetheart."

She closes the door behind her, and I'm left confused and concerned.  _What the hell?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was a fun time, and make sure to eat your vegetables, but don't eat a lot of beets at once, because you'll think you're dying. Yeah, that's all.


	13. Chapter 13

**Cyrus' POV**

 

I go to my locker before first period and see TJ waiting for me there.

"Cyrus!" he says as I approach him. "Do you have plans for dinner tonight?"

"No," I reply. "Did you have something in mind?"

"Well, sort of," he responds, taking my hands. "My parents want you to come over for dinner so they can meet you."

"Really? But I thought you said they weren't supportive?"

"They weren't, and I'm still not totally convinced they are. I don't know why they changed their minds, but they did and they want to meet you. It might be awkward, so I get it if you don't want to come."

"No," I say. "I want them to see how good we are together."

He grins. "Thanks, Underdog."

He plants a quick kiss on my lips, and a few kids turn to look. Nobody says anything, though.

"People are staring," I say. "Are you okay with this?"

He shrugs. "They're just jealous."

Then he kisses me again, this time for a little longer. When we separate, I notice one girl right behind TJ watching us intensively.

As soon as I meet her eyes, she scrambles to explain herself. "I'm not homophobic; I'm just gay and lonely. You're guys are so cute."

TJ and I chuckle, and he kisses me once more before he leaves for his first class.

___________________________________

TJ opens the door and lets me in with a smile. I'm about to hug him, but then his parents come bursting into the room.

"Hello!" his mom says. "We just finished making supper, so why don't you come right into the kitchen and take a seat."

I smile and nod, then take off my coat. TJ takes it from me and hangs it up in the front closet. I wait for him to finish so I can walk with him into the kitchen, rather than going in alone.

"You nervous?" he asks, noticing my reluctance.

"Me? Nervous?" I respond. "Yeah, a little."

He grins and gives me a quick side hug, squeezing my shoulder. I follow him through the living room to the table in the kitchen, at which he sits down beside me. Across from us are two empty seats, which I assume will be for his parents. That is confirmed when his mother carries a tray of food and places it in the centre of the table, taking a seat across from us.

"It's Cyrus, correct?" she says with a smile.

I nod.

"And you're TJ's . . . boyfriend?" The authenticity of her smile is dwindling.

"Yes."

"That's nice," she says before focusing her attention on the food in front of her. "Mark, can you bring the spoons for the bowls?"

TJ's father disperses a handful of utensils among each of the dishes and sits down.

TJ starts filling his plate, so I do the same, dropping scoops of mashed potatoes, peas, and beans on my plate.

"So Cyrus, do you do any extra curricular activities?" Mr. Kippen asks. "Any sports?"

"I was an honorary member of the Space Otters."

"Space Otters?" he says skeptically, taking a bite of his potatoes.

"It's Jefferson's ultimate Frisbee team."

"I see."

"What about basketball?" Mrs. Kippen wonders. "You don't play that?"

I shake my head. "I just watch all the games."

"Then how did you meet our son?"

"Well, my friend was on his team."

"Buffy," TJ explains. "The girl who tutored me for a while."

"Oh, I remember her. She seemed very nice," she says with a smile.

I glance at TJ at the same time as he looks at me, then we return back to our eating.

"You didn't like her?" his mom continues.

TJ's voice tightens in anger he's trying his best to control. "Not the way I like Cyrus," he says through clenched teeth.

"I see." She takes a sip from her glass of water.

"Cyrus," Mr. Kippen says, "What drew you to our boy?" He cuts off my hesitation by asking another question. "What did you do to make him like you?"

TJ slams his fist on the table. "He didn't make me do anything!"

I reach up and place my hand on his wrist. When he turns to see me, his eyes soften as I give him a gentle smile. His parents watch in silence as TJ winds his fingers through mine and calmly leans back in his chair, letting our intertwined hands hang down between us under the table.

"Okay, then," his mother says, taking another bite of her dinner. "TJ, honey, eat your supper before it gets cold." She shovels in another spoonful, keeping her eyes off of her son and I and our obvious connection.

___________________________________

After bearing through the rest of the awkwardly quiet meal, TJ and I go downstairs. I sit on the couch as he turns on his PS4. Then he comes over to join me, passing me a controller.

"Ever played Battlefront?" he asks, and I shake my head. "Well, I'll show you how it works."

As he opens the application, my eyes wander to the pile plastic ponies on the ground.

"Why isn't your sister here?" I ask.

He taps his controller with his thumb and looks down at his hands. "She's at a sleepover. I think that's why my parents wanted you to come over today. They knew she wouldn't be here." He grins slightly, saying, "Too bad it doesn't matter. She already knows about you and she is ay-okay with it."

"That's good to hear," I respond.

"Yeah." TJ takes one arm and wraps it around me. "I'm sorry they're being so stupid."

"Don't worry about it," I say.

"I just hate how awkward that was."

"That's okay. I'm awkward all the time. It's one of my defining characteristics."

He laughs. "You're cute too."

"As are you."

I look at him with puckered lips. He instantly gets the hint and leans in to kiss me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, has anyone else been that random girl at the lockers before? Yeah, pretty sure we all have. But yeah, thanks and I love you all so much for supporting me!


	14. Chapter 14

**TJ's POV**  
  
  


"Hey, TJ!"

I spot Cyrus pushing through the stream of kids in the hall to get to me.

"What time does your game start again?" he asks.

"4:00."

"Okay. I'll be there, I just need to help Jonah with something first."

"Yeah, no problem."

"Good," he says. "I'll see you then."

"Yeah, see you."

He waves as he walks away, and I go toward my locker to grab my gym clothes.

After getting changed, I enter the gym where I see the rest of my teammates practicing their free throws.

"There he is," one of them, Lachlan, says when he sees me. "Yo, why didn't you come to Shapiro's last night?"

I had forgotten about that. We had planned to go to Shapiro's Delicatessen as a team. I'm not a big fan of that place, because their baby taters aren't near as good as the ones at The Spoon, but the guys seem to like it.

I steal the ball from him as he makes an attempt at a basket, then answer, "I was busy."

"With what?" another boy, Roy, asks.

"Cyrus came over for dinner with me and my parents."

I toss the ball and it swishes through the net without hitting the rim. Roy catches the ball's bounce with his hand, and passes it back to me.

"Cyrus? That dude you're always hanging around? You brought him to meet your parents?" He chuckles a little. "That's kinda gay, man."

I swirl the ball between my hands as I work up the courage to speak.

"Well, I'm kinda gay," I say, bouncing the ball back to Roy.

Roy catches it against his chest, taking a moment to process what I just said.

"Yo, that's chill," he says.

Then one of the other guys, Franklin, joins in. "So this Cyrus—he your boyfriend?"

I nod.

"So when are we gonna get to formally meet him?"

"Yeah," Lachlan says. "We wanna talk to him. Gotta make sure he knows that if he does anything to hurt our captain, we're all right behind you."

Roy walks over and gives my hand a slap and fist bump. "We got your back, man."

I grin as Roy hands the ball back to me, which I then use to take another shot for the net. The ball clips the rim before dropping through the hoop. 

____________________________________

**Cyrus' POV**  
  
  


"This is so close," Buffy comments beside me.

Her eyes are locked on the ball as it dribbles around the court. Andi, Amber and Jonah are sitting with us as well, but they're more focused on their own conversation than the game. I watch TJ as he steals the ball and tosses it up and into the net. The crowd roars and cheers.

"Did they win?" I ask Buffy.

She lets out a single laugh. "Yes, they won."

"They won!" I cheer, rushing down the bleachers.

TJ runs to me and embraces me in his arms, spinning me around before setting me down on the floor.

"Congratulations!" I say.

The viewers, comprised of students and parents, has begun to disperse and mingle around, but somehow I can still hear my name called over the buzz of the voices.

"Cyrus!" a kid from TJ's team shouts. He walks over to me. "You're TJ's boy?"

I turn my eyes to TJ, who's smiling at his teammate.

"Yeah," I say.

That earns me a fist bump from the boy. "Had to meet the guy taking up all of our captain's time."

"Is that bad?" I ask, slightly worried.

He chuckles. "Nah, bro. It's just nice to see who TJ's always rambling on about."

I glance at TJ, who's now blushing.

"Anyway, we'll see you around, man," the boy says before heading back to the rest of his team.

I turn to TJ. "When did they find out?"

"Just before the game actually. Went pretty good, as you can tell. They're probably going to be bugging me about you constantly now."

"Like how you talk about me constantly?"

"They didn't say constantly. Just often." He grins.

I take his hands and lean in. The moment our lips touch, I hear a series of whoops and whistles from across the gym. TJ and I glance over at his teammates who are making a racket, grinning at TJ.

"We do that to everyone on the team," TJ explains. "I guess I'm not getting a break just because I have a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend."

I laugh before pressing my lips to his again.

______________________________________

**TJ's POV**  
  
  


I hurry down the stairs toward the door. I want to slip out without my parents asking me where I'm going. Ever since I came out to them, they've been weary of every time I go to hang out with people, especially with Cyrus, who happens to be meeting me at the park in ten minutes. I almost get to the doorknob without being noticed, but then my mother's voice sounds and she appears out of the kitchen.

"TJ," she says. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay."

I stand waiting, but she motions for me to sit down. I don't really want to, but I join her on the couch, sitting as far to the opposite end from her as possible.

"I remember when you were younger. You would come home and tell me about the girls you had a crush on. Your face always lit up when you spoke about them."

I roll my eyes, predicting where this is going.

"Then I think about the way you looked at Cyrus the other night at supper . . . and honey, if that's not real, I don't know what is."

That catches me off guard, and I feel tears prickling my eyes, but manage to hold them in.

"Thanks, Mom," I say, my voice wavering a little with emotion.

She smiles and shifts over to hug me.

"I love you so much, and all I want is for you to be happy. That's all any parent could want. "She lets me go and looks in my eyes. "Cyrus clearly makes you very happy, and I don't want to keep you from that."

"Thanks," I say again, giving her another hug. "I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart." She releases me and stands up. "Now go meet your boy."

I smile, not bothering to put the mental effort into understanding how she knew where I was going.

"Bye," I say as I open the door to leave.

She smiles at me before I go.  _I guess Amber was right; it does get better. I just hope that holds true for her too._


	15. Chapter 15

**_Four Months Later_ **  
  
  


**Cyrus' POV**  
  
  


"Put the table over there, boys," Mrs. Kippen directs.

We carry it to the space between two trees, across the grass from where the screen and projector are being set up. Tonight's movie is The Lion King, and TJ and I are going to be serving popcorn as we always do.

"TK, can you unfold the legs?" I ask her.

She nods. TJ and I hold the plastic table on it's side while TK uses the force of her whole body to flip each table leg outward. She gives me a grin when she's finished.

"Done!" she says.

"Thank you, TK," I respond.

TJ and I stand the table up on the grass as TK runs off to help her mother by unloading bags of popcorn kernels from the car.

"She really likes you," TJ says with a smile.

"I'm glad," I say. "I really like her too."

"Cyrus, dear," Mrs. Kippen says, carrying bags of kernels alongside TK, "will you go grab the paper bags from the car?"

"Yeah, sure."

I return with a huge stack of empty paper bags, which get filled up with popcorn quickly once we've finished setting up and the audience begins arriving. TJ and I rush to serve each guest, only stopping when we see two we know.

"Amber, Andi!" I say as they appear at the front of the line. "You guys came."

"Yeah. Sorry we're late," Andi says. "I know we said we'd help set up, but Amber's parents wanted to take a million photos of us in our dresses."

They were both wearing floral sundresses under jean jackets, which I believe they picked out for each other.

Amber, who had her arm locked through Andi's at the elbow, defended her parents, saying, "We do look adorable."

Andi giggles at the memory. "And her dad still stares at me with his arms crossed when I wait for her the way my dad did when Jonah and I were dating." she tells us.

Amber groans. "My dad's so embarrassing."

TJ chuckles as he says, "Well, don't worry about being late. We handled everything."

"Thanks," Amber says, taking the bag of popcorn I hand to her. "We'll talk to you guys later."

Andi waves as her and Amber go off to find a place on the grass.

Once TJ and I finish helping the rest of the crowd, we sit up on the table so that we can see above everyone's heads. They're all spread out on the grass on the other side of the open field from us. We're decently far from the screen, but we can still see and hear the movie as it starts.

"I used to watch this all the time as a kid," TJ says.

Although the air feels cool against my cheeks, his arm feels warm around me. His hair blows around a little, even with the insane amount of product he uses. He looks especially good in this dim night lighting, and it makes me heart skip a beat when he smiles at me.  _Four months later, and he still makes me feel like I'm walking on air around him._

"Me too," I say. "I still know all of the words to the songs."

"Really? Then you need to sing along when they come on."

I take the challenge, and when "Circle of Life" sounds, we quietly croon the lyrics along with the film. It turns out he knows the words even better than I do, and when "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" comes on, I call him out on that.

"Well, it's only because my sister memorized every song from every Disney movie there is," he responds.

I laugh. "When did we become those annoying kids singing Moana songs four months ago?"

"We're not singing Moana," he points out. "This is The Lion King. Completely different."

We laugh together, and continue to hum the melodies for every song that follows. When "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" begins ringing out, I notice Amber and Andi sharing a kiss in the distance. They look so happy together, and I suddenly feel incredibly lucky to be here with in with this boy's arm around me.

I look up at him. "I actually had a dream once where we were dancing to this song."

TJ raises his eyebrows with a grin, then pulls me off the table by my hand, and leads me out into the open field, away from the crowd watching the film, but still close enough to hear the song. The first chorus of the song begins as TJ takes one of my hands and holds it up in his, putting his other on my waist, and I put mine on his shoulder. We start moving to the music, swaying back and forth with the melody. He has a wide smile on his face, which causes me to laugh a little, but he keeps his eyes on me.

"In your dream," he says, "what happened next?"

"Well, we did this one move where we spread apart and then come back together."

He steps away, catching my hands with his, then pulls me back to him even closer than before. I feel his warm embrace encompass me as I put my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder.

"Then what happened?" he whispers.

"Then . . . I told you I love you." I lift my head up to look at him. "Only, I can't remember what you said after that."

He smiles. "I bet I said . . . I love you too."

Then he kisses me, and the music fades out existence, and the people around us disappear, leaving just me and him—and this feeling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! It's done! I loved writing this so much, and I hope you liked reading it too! I love all of you so much! Thank you for staying with me till the end of this! Bye!

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this, thank you so much for giving this story a chance. I know this chapter was slow, but I have a plan, and it's going to be the cutest thing ever, so stick around for that. I just want to make sure there's enough build-up to different events, because I honestly hate it when people will start stories right in the part that should be most dramatic, but the lack of build-up takes away from what could've been a really beautiful moment. Anyway, thanks! I hope you enjoy it!


End file.
